My children are being effected.

[CANNIBAL]

Sometimes it is good to let out some things that get bottlede up, so I am going to tell a little about what has been fermenting in my mind for the last few weeks. Maybe some of you have been were I am at and can give some comforting advice. I have been divorced for almost two years. The marriage only lasted three years. During the marriage my former spouse became someone I did not now from the start. She became a down right evil person in many ways. When I walked my oldest daughter was 22 months old and my youngest daughter was 8 months old. After two years of absolute hell trying to get divorced it come to rest with the help from one of the best domestic attornies in the Knoxville area and my X-wife slipped up and lost her represented attorney. The final results, I near lost everything at the time to hold my head above water but recieved joint custody, no child support, and finally I am away from that crazy women.
Now My X-wife is remarried with O'yes another child with the new hubby. They dated less then one month when they decided to get married because she was pregnant. Anyway, they fight like cats and dogs and the week she has my daughters they see this and it is effecting them. My oldest crys she misses mommy and has bad dreams about mommy, yet my youngest daughter doesn't want to go home to mommy. Finally after a couple of weeks of this my daughters tell me that mommy and new hubby are hitting one another and screaming at one another. My oldest feels better since she told me, yet I do not feel safe about the matter. I am in process of getting the court involved to at least make a time line note of this. O'ya I saw my X-wife 2 days ago and she has a 2 inch finger width bruise on her jaw the day before she did not, and she says she and her hubby were playing around and fell into the fireplace. One more thing I found this women to be bi-polar and is one of the most jealous people I have ever met.

[Scorch]

If it is that bad, she does not need to see them untill she gets this mess under control. I know what it is like. Trying to go to bed at night, and all you can hear is them screaming at one another. My parents are divorced, have been for a while now. My dad moved to Mobile AL. for his job shortly after my mom and him got divorced. I'm the oldest and have 2 sisters, 11, and 6. Me and my oldest sister stay with our mom, and my dad had the youngest with my stepmother. We only get to see my dad twice a year. One for two weeks in the summer, and if we're lucky a week at Christmas time, and right now I'm having to fight with my mother to let us go down this summer. I can't offer advise, wish I could. All I know is that is sux not being able to see your dad or you mom when you want to, instead you have to wait till some one says it's okay. I feel for you and your children. The best of luck to you.

[gfgjester]

How much money do you have? First off, I don't know what the legal system does in custody matters in Tennessee. I'm in Louisiana. Here, they stick hot crawfish claws in the man's ears until he pays big bucks when it comes to most divorce/custody matters. Seriously, you need to get yourself to an attorney. DOCUMENT, (did I say document?), everything you can, keep a written diary and get a tape recorder to tape your conversations with the kids talking about Mommy. If you can get photos, do it. You're most likely in for a helluva fight. Be sure that you're ready and be sure that you're ready to handle full custody, too. I sure don't envy you, Bro. But I wish you all the luck in the world.

[havokrooster]

why dont ou talk to jen dude. she does work for d.c.s. and can point you in the right direction.

[CANNIBAL]

I have already started with the tapes and talking with my attorney and yes to the men on these issues, Tennesse is the belt buckle of the bible belt and men are told in order of protection court "This system is not designed for men". Well that pisses me off and I know from my divorce that a good attorney is not cheap but fair. No wonder some men up hear go bazerk! I feel going straight to her house and shooting her in the face with a bazooka.

[CANNIBAL]

Originally Posted by havokrooster

why dont ou talk to jen dude. she does work for d.c.s. and can point you in the right direction.

I was going to talk to you about it.

[DMmasta]

Originally Posted by gfgjester

How much money do you have? First off, I don't know what the legal system does in custody matters in Tennessee. I'm in Louisiana. Here, they stick hot crawfish claws in the man's ears until he pays big bucks when it comes to most divorce/custody matters. Seriously, you need to get yourself to an attorney. DOCUMENT, (did I say document?), everything you can, keep a written diary and get a tape recorder to tape your conversations with the kids talking about Mommy. If you can get photos, do it. You're most likely in for a helluva fight. Be sure that you're ready and be sure that you're ready to handle full custody, too. I sure don't envy you, Bro. But I wish you all the luck in the world.

Jester is right on with this, i asked my dad (who is an attorney here in charleston) what to do, and he read this and said tht it was exactly right, and also (he doesnt know the laws in TN but in SC its legal) record conversations over the phone between the 2 of you, (if possible) and one more thing was to talk with her friends, if you are close to any of them, if not you may want to hire a P.I. to talk with them.

Much love and god's blessing!

[SirRod]

Jay: I'm going to pray for you.

[Milkshake]

I have an ex like that, we split when our daughter was 1 1/2. She remarried, as well as I, and she had another girl. They fought all the time and ended up the same as we did. She had full custody and went for lack of a better word crazy. She never kept either one at home and bounced them from school to school. She started with the bad drugs and bad dudes also. I tried and tried to get help, but never could. Finally she almost overdosed and put herself in a hospital, I did not know all that was going on, never let me see my girl but once a month, but that is another issue. A woman who was watching the girls called me and told me some of what had been happening, I did some research and found out a whole lot of other stuff. Needless to say, I took my daughter from the woman after getting some legal paperwork done and filed for custody. She went ape, showed up at court threatening to kill me in front of the judge, had to be carried out, I loved it. I of course received full custody, as did the other daughters grandparents. We lived in different states so it will be different from your situation. My ex filled and received MENTAL DISSABILITY, from drug use, can you believe that crap? She was drawing more than my aunt who worked her whole life. What a system.
It can be done, talk to the right people, get the goods on her, witnesses, phone recordings, her whereabouts, times they drop the kids off on others when it is their time, that shows alot believe it or not. Have faith, sometimes things do go right for honest hardworking folks, I ajm proof of that. My daughter is now 25 and lives right up the street from me, hates her mom, I laugh at that, I am still married to my 2nd and plan on staying that way. GOOD LUCK

[DevilDoc]

Hey there cannibal. I'm a paralegal with extensive family law experience. Most states allow recordings if at least one party is aware the recording is taking place...i.e you need to be engaged in the conversation. I highly suggest you record any testimony your children may provide and I agree Child Protective Services should be involved. You may also have local law enforcement do what's called a welfare investigation at random just to ensure your kids are o.k. The oh we fell into a fire place excuse probably won't go over well.

Also, if you didn't bring up her bi-polar nature during your divorce now is definitely the time. You might also ask your attorney to Motion for a temporary custody order with the court citing your concerns. Even with that all being said, I was in a similar situation with my ex in Texas. She;s bi-polar with border line personality disorder and we have two sons, one of which has autism. She went off her meds, testified to this fact in court as well as leaving my son at the school until 6pm and I still lost. Its tough as a Dad man. I was not a resident in Texas and quickly found out why they say don't mess with Texas.

Best of luck to you and if you ever just need to vent look me up. I'm not familiar with Tenessee law but I'm no idiot either.