Opn Killer Chili Cookoff - Muy Hot!

[Hot Lips]

I'll be sure and bring the BEAN-O, And the TUMS!!!!

[Hot Lips]

What is nobody else going to enter the chili cookoff? It's for a good cause and we need to have enough chili to feed everybody, and more for the judges to judge and decide on a prize!

[gfgjester]

Hot Lips,

I'm confident more will come. They're just waiting to see who their competition is gonna be. THEN they'll jump in and enter their Girly-Man Chili recipes.

I mean, how could they go up against Castro and the rest of the manly chili cooks. As Girly-Men cooks, they just have to get the courage up to enter. I know when they saw Magget and the Sewer Rats were entering, at least five jumped up on chairs, lifted their skirts and squealed, "OOOOOOOOOOooooooh! EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeK! We aren't manly enough to enter the contest!" (I'll bet you had to hide the initial contest graphic from all the Pups so they wouldn't get too excited about attending! )

Theres just no way to tell if they'll ever gain back the use of their Man Gland. But the OPN Chili Contest is a great way to grow the hair back!

[sarge]

I Am Going To Make It... Dont Know About Cooking Though........... But You Never Know

[CASTRO]

Now the above designs would be great for Rateing the chilie.



CASTRO

[sarge]

lol. i have about 20 or so bios andd not sure ho many radios.... long time since i had chili that was good though.

[MrWizard]

For those of you who missed the last chili cook off here are the notes from Judge #3, an inexperienced Chili Taster named Rich, who was visiting from Charleston, SC.

Rich: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Paintball
chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment
and I happened to be standing there with my camera at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was
assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't
be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
>
>
>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>
CHILI # 1 - Castro's MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
>
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Rich) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You
could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put
the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Paintballers are crazy.

>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>CHILI # 2 - Scott's AFTERBURNER CHILI...
>
>
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not
sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in
more beer when they saw the look on my face.
>
>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>
>CHILI # 3 - Diddy's BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
>
>Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
>Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
>Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My
nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine
by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the
back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting
drunk from all of the beer.
>
>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>
> CHILI # 4 - Ben's BLACK MAGIC...
>
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice.
Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
fish or other mild foods not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman
is starting to look HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?
>
>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>
> CHILI # 5 Peaches's LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
>
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly
ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.
Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my
forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people
behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told
him that his chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if
I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges
asked me to stop screaming.
>
>*********************************************** ** ****
>
>
> CHILI # 6 - Al's VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
>
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good
balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions,
and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous, sulfuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand
behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe
my rearend with a snow cone.
>
> ************************************************** ***
>
>
> CHILI # 7 - Suzie's SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
>
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a
can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,
and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world
sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili,
which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match
my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen
anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in
my stomach.
>
> ************************************************** ***
>
>
> CHILI # 8 - BIG CHRIS'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
>
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not
too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither
mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3
farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd
have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

[gfgjester]

O P N Members - Please check threads for Message!

[Kdiddy63]

Originally Posted by gfgjester

LADIES & GENTLEMEN AND THOSE WHO DARE

HERE IS THE OFFICIAL OPN NOTICE OF THE EVENT OF THE YEAR
THE OPN CIRCUS - KILLER CHILI COOKOFF

----- ENTRY DEADLINE APRIL 1ST! -----

It's chili time in Tennessee

OK guys and gals it's time to get you entries into the First annual O.P.N. Circus Chilli Cookoff.
This event is to raise money for our good friend Mark "Wheels" Anderson and celebrate Bear Claws 10th anniversary. All those wishing to enter must do so by April 1st.

As of now the entrants are :
Tinker of Ghost Squad
Ben T. and Bob J. of MPP and Bear Claw
Castro of Blackhearts
Vader and Camo Jester of Assasin Nation
Death by Daddy of Assasin Nation
Wolverine and Iron Jaw of Assasin Nation
Kdiddy of Assasin Nation
Maggot of Sewer Rats
Mr. Chick (Bond Chicks Hubby)
Shanus of Southern Discomfort
Cannibal of Southern Discomfort

Prizes are a trophy for 1st place and certificates for 2nd, 3rd and Peoples Choice Award. A prize package may also be in the works.

Enterys should be turned in to the Chilimeister by 6:00pm Friday night for judging. All other players can enjoy a wide variety of of chillis after the judging is complete for $5.00 for a bottomless bowl.

Judges will be selected just prior to the event. I have many requests. If you are a spouse or relative of an entrant you will not be chosen.(just trying to keep it honest)

So come on people get your entry in now so you can have bragging rites to the best chili in the paintball community.

I would like to request that all O.P.N. members not entering to be available to serve the masses. Let's give Susie and the girls the night off. They deserve it.

Due to my changing of jobs this week I may not have internet access till later next week. Untill then if you would like to enter or have any questions PM GFGJESTER or DEATH BY DADDY they know how to get in touch with me.

Thanks to all participants, it's for a great cause.

Please remenber that each entry is only $10.00 and it comes with 2 Bottomless bowls.

[Rage-o]

You can count team tetanus in. Although i'm no sure why all you guys have to make ya chili hot. please explain.