Military Retirement

[MrWizard]

The Army found it had too many officers and NCOs and decided to
offer an early-out bonus. They promised those who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in his body, and they could choose the two points.

A Captain who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.

A Major who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third man was a grizzly old Sgt. Major who, when asked where He would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

The officers laughed, and the pension man suggested that he might
want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the two
officers had received.

But the old Sgt. Major insisted and they decided to go
along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer then placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back...

Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief smiled and calmly replied, " Vietnam. Where’s my money?”

[USArmyManOfWar]

That is pretty good!!!

[warpedx]

I'm a fan.

[needmorecowbell]

heh thats funny haha

[drewcif]

hahaha I like that one.