Police voice recordings...

Skeeter · #1 11-08-2007, 04:16 PM

the subject...It's not what it sounds like....these are funny!
>
>
> These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car tape
> recorders around the country:
>
> #16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one
> you just went through.'
>
> #15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
> stretch after you wear them a while.'
>
> # 14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
> certificate a worthless document.'
>
> #13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
>
> #12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
> that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
>
> #11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means
> I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
>
> #10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
> think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
>
> #9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
> do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
>
> #8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you
> are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
>
> #7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
> you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
> monkey poop.'
>
> #6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
> toaster oven.'
>
> #5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
>
> #4 'How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?'
>
> #3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now
> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
>
> #2 'I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
> friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
>
> AND THE WINNER IS....
>
> #1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right,
> we don't. Sign here.'