Welcome to the Hurricane Bar

[gfgjester]

Well, Folks, hurricane season's officially here so here are a few new drink recipes to keep handy just in case the worst happens.

Enjoy!

MANDATORY EVACUATION
1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
Tomato & prune juice

Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Tomato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it -ask if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.
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CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
sweet-and-sour mix
splash of fruit juice

Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to
believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.
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CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone

Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him. Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?)
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FEEDER BAND
1oz. Midori
1oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream

After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.
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BEACH EROSION
1/2 oz. Goldschlager
1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw

Combine Goldschlager, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.
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DOWNED POWER LINE
1/2 oz. rum 1 oz. Jolt Cola

Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.
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FLOOD ZONE
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream
1 oz. rum

Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.
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COLD SHOWER
1 oz. Blue Aftershock
1 oz. Sprite

Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.
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LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniels
splash of sarsaparilla
rock salt

Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one,
blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.
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THE CHAIN SAW
1 oz. Goldschlager
1 oz. Rumplemintz
1 oz. Jim Beam
splash of vermouth

Combine Goldschlager, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.
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FOUR-WAY STOP
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. vodka and Midori
1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano
1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out
of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living crap out of him.
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BLUE TARP
1/2 oz. Curacao
1 oz. pineapple juice
splash of lime
Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.
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FEMA FIZZLE
1 oz. Southern Comfort
1 oz. sloe gin
tonic water
Nut Brownie

One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie. Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, "Doing a helluva job Brownie!"

[Kdiddy63]

I'm glad I live in Tennesse, just tornados here.

[Skeeter]

Thanks Jester... Printing this one for future reference!!!!

The "Cone of Prabability" is soooo true.

[gfgjester]

Well, Hell... We are the AUTHORITY on hurricanes and drinkin'! (And shootings and crime and looting... )

[the boss]

Jester I see you too have been through the storms amazing the things one can find to do during the hurricane, would like to blast the rock salt at Jim though. ha ha

[gfgjester]

My deal was piecing together enough coax cable to run to the sat dish next door and keeping the generator going so we could watch Fox and CNN and see what was happening right after the storm passed. We were completely freaked out when we saw the breaks in the levees.

As a former insurance adjuster, I also came into Charleston on Cat duty after Hugo and was out on the Isle of Palms. It was the worst I'd ever seen until Katrina. There was a two story house on the left as you crossed the little bridge onto the island where the entire second story was gone, except for the washing machine. Amazing stuff.

[warpedx]

Hell, we're happy if we get a little rain here and there. I did feel my first earthquake in years this past weekend, those are always fun.

[Junkie]

Originally Posted by warpedx

Hell, we're happy if we get a little rain here and there. I did feel my first earthquake in years this past weekend, those are always fun.

Grab your markers and run outside..

[the boss]

I worked (clean up) all the hurricanes in the last 15 years in the southeast I didn't go to katrina I knew it was bad, We saw enough dead bodies in Ivan to last a while. Believe me when they tell you to leave don't be a damn fool LEAVE