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| "OLD" School Anything Old School. A place for bald junkies to relax their aching knees. |
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To Team SWAT - I hoist my cup of,,,, hell, someone get me a beer! ![]() |
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North American Paintball Referee Association Lively did not 'supplant' IPPA. IPPA folded, ultimately, becauwse they were not delivering on what they stated their mission was, they tried to do too many things under one umbrella (players or, field org, team org, safety org, etc) AND, they were unable to obtain enough membership votes to meet quorum in, I think, 1996. Under their by-laws, they therefore had to shut down. |
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You're old school if -
You're old school if you remember this from Nam - Different forces within the military deal with threats in different manners. Here's how they handle an encounter with a reptile such as a snake and it is known as "The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations or A Diversified Approach to Military Operations: Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicures. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e. cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel voucher upon return. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5-series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALs kill Muslim extremist snakes. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.) Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target. Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy. CH-47 Pilot: Slingleg breaks in flight while slingloading anti-snake equipment, pilot cuts slingload. Slingload lands on snake and kills it. Crew cheif uses dead snake to replace broken slingleg. Armored Cav Scouts-After visual confirmation of snake activity, decide to go to ground realizing snake is the vanguard of a much larger snake force, and elect not to alert snake of their presence. Navy Pilot: Draped snake around neck at Tail Hook to pick up chicks. Military Police: Gave snake a sobriety test for not moving in a straight line. Signal: Broadcasts 200,000+ watt transmissions in support of anti-snake missions, accidentally electrocuted snake in the process. Corps of Engineers: Surveyed and researched area for plans on improving flood plain, cant do it because snake is on the endangered species list. Cooks: Snake sneaks in chow hall. Snake dies of food poisoning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Almostforgot (happening more frequently with onset of old age), I was partners (who wasn't at one time or another?) with Wayne Dollack. when we did that game in Dade City. That was, as far as I can determine, also the first time anyone used a simulated tank during a paintball scenario game. In fact, I still have several original photos showing the tank and a group of Mech Infantry types trailing it as it moved across those stubble grass fields. Does anyone still remember that night's attack on Ex's tent encampment. If you weren't there, or over seas, you missed a great game! Director Tactical Information and Strategic Services Office of the CofS, SHAEF "Details Hold The Key To Success" Office: 407.563.3884 Email: ADorsai@aol.com |
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You might be old school if you had to load your marker one ball at a time...lol
I remember Lazarus....I could smell the bug spray from the enemy right before we got overrun.... I turned to Tumor Jr and said "can you smell that and he said "what the cow poop?"....too late. Then later on we were in the fennel and I got eliminated. It was dark and Tumor Jr walk up to the guys that smote me and said..."that was cool lighting that guy up..." they all laughed and then Ben shot them all..... Avenged !lol |
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"Come on man,this is the stuff heros and ledgands are made out of!" -My Dad |
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