Thread: Scenario Reffing : Mouthy players : how to handle

I can see the balance of bothe veiws. However I have also seen a person throw in the towel because one of my team-mates was talking smack to make another engage. During this game there was no cussing or foul expressions, yet the player was so full of himself and could not stand up to take it or dish it out that he quit. Honestly It was best for everybody on the team that happened. Sometimes human nature and morality is a challenge to govern and some folks flat do not care to try.

I tend to be Sir Rod's side on this one, with the exception that I think a @*^% slip deserves a warning.

Things I've seen from field owners:

1. I've seen (heard) a very well known field owner (ok, actually more than one) say when going over the rules "There an't no _amn cussing on my field. Doing that says you really don't care and if you give a penalty to someone for cussing, it's understood that it is only to satisfy the customers (like myself) that don't want to hear it.

2. I've seen field owners get in to a pissing contest for one reason or another with a person / team OR have an on-going mini-feud with a person / team, then when the big game starts, instead of taking the high road, they find ways to hassle those people till they start cussing. Of course, at that point, the whole side gets a penalty, which is even more wrong than just picking on the actual aversary. You know who you are--And yes people are smart enough to know what's going on.

Bad, Bad, Bad--People have got to realize that you really can't do somebody wrong just because the field, the website, the store, the whatever belongs to you. Yeah, in a way you can, but you're losing something too when you do. Character always matters.

Now I'm against cussing & all the negative behavior discussed so far, but with the above in mind and with life in general in mind, I'd like to remind all you absolutist thinkers (when it comes to this rule) that everybody has a bad day--even a bad weekend. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated, talk to people calmly & with an understanding voice--even to the Aholes (at least at first). A little deplomacy will go a long way in most cases. And when it doesn't, go ahead & kick it up a notch. The best people are those who are not too proud to talk nice to someone who is acting like an Ahole at the moment.

And it wouldn't bother me if events were alcohol & smoke free, but then, I don't want to deny others the only way they know how to enjoy life, so I just take my kids back to the hotel at every game. I probably lose points with my teamates for doing that, but it's a no-brainer. And I enjoy camping & own plenty of camping gear, but rather than expect 1000 people to behave for me, I go to the hotel. I figure I feel better & play better anyway by doing that.

And I'd like to say that some talk is just talk. It's like certain people I have surpervised--they _itch & moan & complain, but they always do what you tell them. So I listen to a little crap--does it really hurt me? Nah. It's only a problem if I have this real big urge to show off my authority.

Check the over-sized ego at the netting guys and a lot of problems disapear.

To sort of get this thread back on topic, the number one rule in dealing with mouthy players is to not escalate it by replying in kind. With that in mind:

1 - Never ever, ever raise your voice at a player. Always reply with a calm, polite but firm voice.

2 - Never lay a hand on a player in any way that might be abusive or intimidating. Don't poke him (her) in the chest or anything like that. (If you're going to wipe a hit for a player, ask permission first)

2 - Always be polite. You can be firm and still be polite. "Sir, please don't use language like that here. This is a family environment." Or "Sir, I know you're a excited right now, but please try and calm down a bit and let's talk about this."

3 - As much as is possible, try to avoid correcting a player in public. In most cases, you'll get better results if you don't publicly humiliate the player.

4 - It is important that you be firm, resolute and fair. "Sir, I understand that you believe this is an old hit, but you have a quarter-sized break so I must rule you eliminated." In a case like that, I'll even wipe the hit for the person (if it's in an appropriate place on their body) and suggest to them that they work a little harder at wiping old hits. In most cases, if you're calm, polite and can give a reasonable justification for your call, the player will respond accordingly.

5 - On less than serious infractions or possible honest mistakes, a warning is generally a good idea if for no other reason that it demonstrates that you're not a hardass. Later, when you have to drop the hammer on a repeat offender, it takes away the "I didn't know" defense.

6 - If a player argues with your ruling, don't ever, ever back down. Calmly reply, "Sir, I'm afraid my ruling is final. However you're welcome to appeal my ruling to the GamesMaster. I'll be happy to take you to him." This is good, first, because it gets the argument off the field where it belongs. Secondly, it let's the field owner or producer handle the issue. And often, the walk off the field will calm the player down.

i will talk all kinds of smack to the opposition. it usually never goes beyond a "oh c'mon. is that all you guys got?" or "you couldnt hit the broadside of a barn." i have never had a ref tell me to cool it down or punch me for it.

I'm in that boat as well.
I (just like Rooster) will walk across a field dead and tell a guy good shot in the same exchange.

A little talk gets my blood going better, hell makes me play better for that matter.

Calling someone a sissy for longballing 1000 shots at you is completely different than telling them about what you did to their mother last night in the most vulgar language possible.